Not Because I Stopped Loving You
by erica714
Summary: Set during Blame It On The Alcohol. This is one of the ways I felt that episode could have gone differently. Its a FINCHEL reunion story with plenty of fluff and important conversations. Two-shot, now complete.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: This is my first Glee fic! I'm excited about it, hopefully you guys will like it too!

This is set during Rachel's party during Blame it On The Alcohol, its just another direction I could see that night going. This will probably be a two shot unless inspiration strikes and I can figure out how to continue it.

Disclaimer : I dont own glee... if I did, lets just say some stuff would be different.

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><p>"Who wants to play spin the bottle?" Rachel asked maybe a bit more loudly than was really necessary, but who cared she was having fun.<p>

The statement was met with several yeses and a few cheers.

"Ok then let's do this!" Rachel said grabbing a bottle and motioning everyone to come sit in a circle.

"So when you play spin the bottle, what happens is..." Rachel began to explain.

"We all know how to play elf, let's just roll with it." Santana yelled.

"Ok then." Rachel rolled her eyes and spun the bottle.

"Kurt!" Brittany and Quinn yelled.

"Oh yay!" Kurt chuckled as Rachel leaned in towards him. She placed her lips on his for about a second then backed away.

Kurt made a face "Defiantly gay." he whispered to himself, causing Blaine to laugh.

Kurt gave the bottle a spin and watched. Santana.

"Is there anything I should be worried about?" he asked as he moved towards her.

"Nope my doc says if there is nothing showing then it's not contagious." Santana told him.

"Ew," Kurt said making a face but leaned in anyways.

"Is she taking about herpes?" Blaine quietly asked Quinn, who just gave him a look.

"Your lips are really soft." Santana told him as she pulled back.

"It's my nightly skin regimen," Kurt told her "There's several night time creams then Burt's Bee's Wax chapstick before bed and Soft Lips during the day."

"Burt's?" Santana nodded towards Quinn "Thanks Hummel."

"My pleasure." he smiled.

Santana spun the bottle "Brit Brit," she beamed "Get your hot ass over here."

Brittany met her in the middle of the circle. Once Santana's lips touched Brittany's they seemed to forget there were other people there. It wasn't until Artie cleared his throat after Santana's tongue pushed its way into Brittany's mouth, that they slowly backed away.

"Long time…" Santana winked at her.

"Yeah, why don't we do that anymore?" Brittany asked

"Cuz your dating Artie." Santana replied in a deadpan tone.

"Oh yeah!" Brittany beamed "I love Artie."

He just smiled off to the side and shook his head.

"Brittany let's get this show on the road." Mike told her excited to see who the next person would be.

Brittany nodded and spun the bottle "Rachel," She smiled "I've always wondered what it would be like to kiss your lips." Brittany told her as she moved over towards Rachel.

"Oh?" Rachel asked uncomfortably and then smiled.

"Yeah, they just move around so much when you sing it's like a game of tag." That caused the circle of people surrounding them to laugh as Brittany leaned in to kiss Rachel.

Rachel's eyes stayed wide open giving Kurt a look that said "please help me."

"They are a bit firm but soft," Brittany said licking her lips "kinda reminds me of making out with Kurt."

Blaine's eyebrows shot up as he turned to look at Kurt.

"Yeah, Brittany and I totally dated last year." Kurt explained with a chuckle

"Yeah, I don't really know why we broke up though." Brittany commented.

Mercedes just patted her on the shoulder, shaking her head.

Rachel spun the bottle again and watched as it landed on Kurt again.

"Well this is getting old fast." Santana rolled her eyes as Rachel kissed Kurt for the second time. "Maybe you guys would like to include some other people, unless you really just wanna make out with each other. Which would be weird considering Hummel is capital G Gay and Berry….is, well Berry."

Kurt spun the bottle for the second time and watched. A small gasp left his lips when it landed on Blaine, causing several people to cat call and cheer.

Kurt's face immediately turned red as he looked at him. It was going to be their first kiss and Kurt wasn't sure if he wanted it to be in front of everyone.

Blaine leaned forward and kissed Kurt on the cheek then shot him a small smile and wink.

"Boo!" Santana yelled and a few others joined in.

Kurt was both a little disappointed and relieved at the same time. Seeing his face Rachel placed her hand on top of his and gave it a little squeeze.

Blaine spun the bottle and watched as it landed on Rachel.

"Go easy on me." Blaine grinned as he leaned over Kurt to meet Rachel who was sitting on the other side of him. The two shared a pretty steamy albeit short kiss. Kurt seemed a bit uncomfortable but it was nothing compared to the look on Finn's face.

Rachel cleared her throat then spun the bottle, it landed on Mike.

"I gotta hand it to you Berry, you are really getting around." Santana laughed.

Rachel just shot her a dirty look as she pecked Mike quickly on the lips.

Mike took his turn and kissed Quinn on the corner of the mouth then returned to his seat.

Quinn spun the bottle and it landed on Mercedes who looked a bit uncomfortable, so Quinn simply kissed her on her forehead.

"Cheap!" Santana yelled.

"Not everyone has made out with the entire population of Lima, and can just kiss so casually." Quinn shot back at her.

Mercedes took her turn as Santana rolled her eyes at Quinn. Moved over and kissed Tina on the cheek.

Tina spun Artie and the kiss that followed seemed a bit awkward for everybody except for Brittany "Aww, how cute." she commented as Artie chuckled and spun the bottle and sat back as it landed on Finn.

"Finn my man!" Artie smiled and held his arms open. Finn looked a smidge nervous until Artie laughed and said "Just kidding playa" and held his fist out to him.

Finn laughed and bumped it.

"This is WAY too G rated for my liking." Santana said annoyed.

Finn took his turn and kissed Tina quickly, Tina spun Sam and kissed him lightly on the lips.

Sam spun Rachel who he seemed excited to kiss. He made a big production of moving over to where she was sitting and right before their lips met he made sure to catch Finn's eye.

Sam seemed to hang in a bit longer than Rachel was prepared for. Causing her to shoot a look over in Finn's direction and Quinn to jump up when the door bell rang even though it wasn't her house. Rachel spun the bottle and it landed on the newly empty space.

"Alright!" Puck clapped his hands together "just walked in the door and I'm already getting hit up in spin the bottle," he joked as he walked into the room. "Who's the lucky lady?"

Finn looked pissed.

Rachel looked like she might actually cry if she had to kiss Puck in front of Finn. Everyone else watched the drama unfold in silence.

"Sorry Puck that's my spot," Quinn told him, lightly shoving him aside.

"Hott." Puck commented as Rachel crawled forward looking relieved.

"I owe you." Rachel whispered as Quinn's lips met hers.

"Believe me you don't." Quinn responded, trying not to meet Rachel's eye.

"Alright, come on Quinn." a few people encouraged to get them away from the awkward situation that they seemed to have sidestepped for now.

The rest of the game went pretty quickly without real incident.

Quinn spun Mike and kissed him quickly on the lips. Mike got Brittany, and Brittany spun Artie, where she got up to kiss him and stayed the rest of the game in his lap.

Artie spun Tina, again. He leaned forward and kissed her on the forehead.

Tina kissed Kurt, who spun Mercedes.

"Finally I get a piece of that." Kurt grinned.

"You coulda had a piece last year" Mercedes laughed as he pecked her on the lips.

Mercedes spun the bottle and it landed on Rachel.

"This is turning into the stuff dramas on the Lifetime are made of." Kurt joked as the two girls shared a kiss.

"There does seem to be a lot of girl on girl action going on." Blaine agreed.

"Ok maybe the Logo Network then" Kurt laughed.

Rachel smacked his arm as she waited for her most recent spin of the bottle to find its mark. She was laughing with Kurt and Blaine when she saw their eyes go wide.

She turned back to the bottle to find it pointing at Finn.

She took in a shocked breath and everyone seemed to do the same around her. Rachel slowly moved forward to meet Finn, and then almost as it just occurred to her at the last moment,she changed directions and kissed him on the cheek.

Finn sat there for a second after Rachel backed away and stared at her. After a moment he backed up silently and spun the bottle. After an extended wait due to the force with which he spun the bottle, it landed on Santana who grinned evilly at Rachel.

"Watch and learn squirt." Squirt she almost purred but looked disappointed when Finn maneuvered around and kissed her cheek.

"Ok!" Quinn announced "Enough of _that_ drama, let's do something else, _please."_

"Rachel can I talk to you?" Finn asked a bit harshly pulling her up by the elbow.

"Uh, ok..." she muttered giving Mercedes a scared look.

"Alone." He added pulling her down the hall towards the laundry room.

"What the hell was that?" he spat as he closed the door behind them.

"What was what?" she asked confused.

"You can kiss everyone else in the damn Glee Club, Mike, Sam, Brittany, Mercedes Kurt Quinn and you all but made out with Blaine and I get a kiss on the cheek?" Finn yelled as he started pacing the length of the small room.

"Ok 1." Rachel started screaming back at him "Blaine is GAY, you might as well say I was making out with Tina…. And 2… I didn't want to upset you" She added losing her steam at the end.

"Upset me?" He screamed "You didn't think it would upset me to see you making out with all of our friends?"

"I'm sorry Finn!" She yelled "What did you want me to do? Not play? You are the one who told me you needed space. You broke up with me. So EXCUSE ME for not wanting to make you uncomfortable by being forced to kiss me. I was trying to do you a favor."

"I broke up with you because I was mad at you! Not because I stopped loving you!" he yelled back.

"Oh yeah fine! Be mad at me, but you were making out with Quinn last week and what she did to you was WAY worse than….Wait" Rachel stopped mid yell "What did you say?" she asked turning to look at him.

"I said I was mad….pissed even." He added looking at her a bit confused.

"No after that."

"That I was hurt?" He asked not seeing what she was getting at.

"No, …no. You said you haven't stopped loving me?" She asked carefully.

"No I didn't." Finn denied immediately.

"Yes you did." Rachel whispered.

"Ok FINE!" Finn yelled startling Rachel. "I still love you, THERE are you happy?" He yelled.

Rachel smiled for a moment "YES I AM!" She yelled back at him.

"Well good I…. wait, I'm confused," Finn said "Why are we still yelling?"

"You seemed to be more at ease yelling….so I went with it" she smiled sweetly at him.

"Well yeah, I guess I'm.." he looked at her trying to remember what she had said "more at ease yelling because I'm still so pissed" He told her.

"Oh." she whispered looking down at her shoes and nodding her head.

"I'm pissed you kissed Puck even though you knew what it would do to me." He told her in a quieter voice.

"I didn't mean…"Rachel started as tears appeared in her eyes.

"Let me finish!" he shouted causing her to jump back a bit.

"I'm pissed you kissed Puck, and I'm pissed that I took it the way I did. I'm so mad I totally shut you out. I'm pissed I slept with Santana because you should have been my first and I wasted that on someone I don't even like. And I'm pissed that I let it tear us apart" he spat.

"I'm so angry!" he kept going "That I tried to get back together with Quinn after what she did to me. That I was just so focused on getting you out of my mind that I turned to the one who messed me up in the first place. I'm pissed you saw all of it happen and I told you about those god damn fireworks. I'm SO pissed at myself that I watched your heart break even more and I was too damn sick to make it better or at least follow you."

"I'm just so…."Finn ran out of words to say and got really quiet.

"Pissed." Rachel supplied quietly.

"Yes." he said weekly leaning against the door they had come though.

Rachel took a step towards him "Can I talk now?" she asked.

"Yeah," he nodded not looking at her.

"I'm upset too." she admitted taking a step closer to him.

"Upset at the way things turned out." She begin yelling again "I'm saddened because I let you slip though my fingers and so angry that I hurt you, that I see the look in your eyes every day. I'm heartbroken that I drove you to trying to make up with Quinn not because she isn't me…. Well OK maybe a little bit but because I know what she put you through."

"And I'm really upset that we are yelling at each other right now instead of making up." She ended in a calmer tone.

"What?" Finn asked looking up suddenly realizing how close she was. "What are you doing?" he asked.

"Finn, not three minutes ago you told me….well you yelled at me several important valid feelings and emotions, but most importantly of all you told me you still loved me." She almost whispered as she took another step towards him.

"Yeah I do…"Finn started but never got the chance to finish his thought because Rachel threw herself forward and kissed him.

He tried to fight her off, OK no he really didn't. But he wanted to, but he also wanted nothing more than to hold Rachel in his arms and tell her he loved a few moments he seemed to be losing a battle even though he was fighting both sides, as his hands came down to rest on her hips and he deepened the kiss.

Rachel was surprised but didn't let it get in the way of wrapping her arms around his neck.

"No I can't…" he said pulling back and pushing her away slightly. "I'm still so mad." He told her.

"I know." she said bringing her hands up to cup his face "I am too. Not at you…well not only at you but at me too. I just can't keep letting it get in the way of what we have… or had. What we could have had." she trailed off lamely

"Already have." Finn said pushing off the door and backing her up towards the washer until her back was against it.

She jumped at the cold contact. "What?" she asked

"What we already have." he replied "I can't keep letting it get in between us either. It's making it so much worse" He told her a tear slipping down his cheek.

"Finn," Rachel whispered reaching up and wiping it from his cheek. "I'm so sorry for hurting you."

"I know." He nodded bringing his forehead down to rest on hers.

"There's a lot we need to work on" She told him "A lot of stuff we need to get through, but I'm willing to do the work if you are." she added grasping on to his t-shirt.

"Finn?" She asked when he didn't say anything for a while.

He reached down and lifted her up by the hips to sit her on the washing machine.

"I'm in." he told her nodding against her forehead. His lips captured hers and she wrapped her arms around him again and pulled him in closer moving her legs apart to allow him to stand in between her knees.

"Why are you still crying?" he asked after several minutes, pulling back to wipe her tears away with both thumbs.

"I'm so happy." she beamed and pulled him back in for another kiss.

At that moment the laundry room door burst open.

"Everything OK in here?" Kurt asked stepping aside to let Mercedes in.

"It's been a long time since we heard any yelling and….oh!" Mercedes stopped talking when she saw them wrapped around each other.

"We'll just let you two get back to it." Kurt smiled pulling a surprised Mercedes back out with him and closing the door.

Finn laughed and leaned in to kiss Rachel's tear stained face. He looked into her eyes for a long time before whispering "I love you."

Rachel closed her eyes and took a deep breath. After a moment she opened her eyes back up and looked at him with a huge grin as a new tear made its way down her cheek "I love you too." she said pulling him into a hug.

"I love you." She repeated in a whisper as she kissed his neck pulling him further into the embrace by wrapping her legs around his.

"Never again." He whispered as almost a reassurance as he started rocking them back and forth.

"Finn?" Rachel asked after a few minutes of silence.

"Yeah?" he asked rubbing her back.

"What do we do now?" she asked running her fingers though the hair at the bottom of his neck.

"Well, everyone is still outside and I mean it's your house….so"

"No." She giggled kissing him on the cheek and pulling back to look at him "About us?"

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"I mean do we just pick up where we left off? Should we set up some time to talk or maybe make another meeting with Ms. Pillsbury?" She asked

"Um, I'm not really sure" He told her "What do you think?"

"I." She started then took a breath "I just want to make sure it works. Maybe we should just sit down and talk about what happened. We don't need to say who is right and who is wrong because I don't think it matters anymore. But more about how it made us feel. Then once we think we got it all out, we can just move on, and let it be something that only makes us stronger."

"I like that." He told her "Well maybe not all the feelings and stuff but the part you said about it making us stronger. I want that. So why don't we talk tomorrow? You can come over to my house and we can spend all day going over everything, but then after that it's done, we can't keep holding it against each other."

"That sounds very smart." Rachel beamed at him.

Finn smiled too "Thank you."

"I think we should probably hold off on this kind of stuff until we talk it out." She said motioning to the nonexistent space between them.

"What? Why?" he asked.

"Just for tonight I mean. That way we don't have to answer a bunch of questions and hear rude comments before we know where we stand. Just in front of everyone. Just for tonight this can be just for you and me. We'll be the only ones who know."

"Well you me, Kurt, Mercedes and probably Blaine." Finn told her "I'm pretty sure they could figure it out from what they saw."

"Yeah." Rachel laughed "But he's your brother and they are my best friends so, I think that it's OK for now."

"In fact." Rachel smiled as she kissed him on the cheek "Kurt! Mercedes! Can you come in here for a moment?" she yelled towards the door.

"I'm sorry did I hear my name?" Kurt asked sticking his head back in the room.

Finn turned around to look at them but stayed in his place in between Rachel's knees with her arms hugging him from behind.

"Can you guys come in here for a sec?" Finn asked.

"Sure what's up?" Mercedes asked trying her best not to smile as Kurt shut the door.

"Oh stop it." Rachel rolled her eyes at them with a smile. They both broke into huge grins.

"Here's the deal," Rachel told them resting her chin on Finn's shoulder "We are, back together, kind of."

"Kind of?" Mercedes asked her smile fading slightly.

"Well we have a lot to work out over the next few days, so it's not 'public' yet but we will be getting back together." Rachel told them.

"Oh thank god." Kurt commented sounding relieved.

"We wanna keep it quiet for now." Finn told them.

"Got it." Mercedes nodded.

"We would like to figure out where we stand without having to deal with everyone else's questions and opinions." Rachel told them.

"Look just don't tell anyone." Finn said making it short and simple.

"We won't." Kurt promised.

"You take the lead and we will follow…. As always" Mercedes added with an eye roll making everyone laugh.

"Awesome, can you just give us a minute then? Well meet you in a second." Finn told them.

"We'll wait right outside." Kurt promised.

"It's gonna suck to not be able to kiss you for the rest of the night." Finn told her as he turned back around in her arms.

"Yeah, but it will be so much better once we get everything figured out, I promise." She told him kissing his nose.

"OK," He nodded "I believe you."

"One last one for the road." She said leaning in and capturing his lips with hers.

It was several minutes before they both backed away gasping for air.

"OK, let's go." she said pushing him back and hopping down.

Finn grabbed her hand and headed for the door, where they met Mercedes and Kurt and headed back to the party.

The party continued with lots of music and dancing until the wee hours of the morning when Rachel suggested they watch a movie to let everyone sober or stay the night.

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><p>AN 2: the next chapter will be the conversation. Im almost done with that so it should be posted soon. please let me know what you thought of this chapter.


	2. Chapter 2

AN: Here we go! the final chapter in my little two shot. I hope you all like this as much as the first one. I got so many more alerts, favorites and reviews than I thought I was going to. You guys are awesome.

This is the last chapter of this lil story that popped into my mind but I have a ton of other ideas that I should be writing soon, so keep an eye out for that.

I wont bore you anymore with my rambling..

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><p>It was very bright when Rachel opened her eyes the next morning, unusually bright. Letting that sink in for a moment she looked to the clock on her night stand.<p>

It was 10:30, this explained the brightness. Rachel woke up every day at 6am no matter what, the fact that she had slept in so late defiantly said something about the party she had hosted the night before.

It wasn't until she moved to sit up that she noticed that she wasn't alone in her bed. She turned over to find both Kurt and Mercedes asleep under her covers. She smiled to herself as she got out of bed and made her way downstairs towards the kitchen.

She chuckled to herself as she found several more people asleep along her trip through the house. Brittany and Artie were wrapped up together on the couch, Blaine was on the love seat and Puck was passed out on the floor with Santana using his stomach as a pillow.

She stopped as soon as she stepped into the kitchen when she saw Finn looking into the refrigerator. She tried to quickly fix her hair, wishing she had made a stop at the bathroom to at least freshen up a bit before coming down stairs in her pajamas.

"Hi" she beamed at him, still running a hand through her hair.

"Hey." he smiled looking at her around the refrigerator door.

"Where did you sleep?" she asked looking back towards the living room. "Almost every flat surface is accounted for."

"Oh, um on that window bench thing outside your room."

"You should have come in, I would have shared my bed." She said blushing a bit at the implications of her statement.

"I did." he smiled "But Kurt and Mercedes were already in bed with you, so I just came back out."

"Sorry." She mumbled "That must have been really uncomfortable."

"No it was ok."

They both just stood there staring at each other for a few moments.

"This is silly," she said moving forward to stand right in front of him, she leaned forward on her tip toes to kiss him lightly on the lips. "Hi" she breathed.

"Hi." He whispered back.

"So what's for breakfast?" Artie asked as Brittany wheeled him into the kitchen.

"We were just talking about that." Rachel responded with her eyes still on Finn's

After looking in a few cabinets Rachel held up a container "Pancakes?" she asked.

"I love pancakes!" Brittany grinned. "Will you cut them up for me like my mom does?"

"Sure Britt" Rachel smiled fondly at her. "You wanna help me? We have a lot of pancakes to make."

They started prepping to cook breakfast for everyone in the house. Brittany was quickly put on mixing duty as soon as she told Artie that she didn't know that you were supposed to try and keep the shell pieces from falling into the eggs.

"I thought that's what you were supposed to do so that they would be crunchy."

"Brit, eggs aren't supposed to be crunchy." Artie told her as he was helping Finn get different ingredients together.

The others started filing into the kitchen one by one with hair sticking up in odd directions and clothes wrinkled.

"I gotta hand it to you this time Berry, this was a pretty bad ass party. I didn't think you had it in you" Santana told Rachel from across the table as she reached for another pancake and held it up "these don't hurt either."

"Thank you." Rachel nodded towards the other end of the table at Santana, she wasn't too excited about having this girl sit at her kitchen table. Finn noticed the look on Rachel's face and patted her knee under the table.

"Yeah I agree, last night was off the hook." Artie spoke up.

"You should let us help you clean up." Quinn offered as Tina handed her a plate. She was a bit late to breakfast because it wasn't until they started eating did they realize she was missing .They found her asleep in the hall closet with the coats.

"I would appreciate that a lot." Rachel smiled standing up and collecting her dishes and some of the others.

It took next to no time to get the disaster that was Rachel's basement cleaned up with everyone helping. Finally around 1:30 everyone was collecting whatever it was that they brought with them and leaving.

"See you on Monday." Rachel told Mercedes as they hugged at the door.

"Kurt, Blaine we're still on for Tuesday right?"

"For the Sound Of Music?" Kurt asked "You would literally have to kill me, to get me not to be there." he joked.

"I'm totally in." Blaine smiled.

"Good." Rachel beamed as she hugged him then Kurt.

"Good luck." Kurt whispered into her ear as he backed away.

Rachel nodded at him and whispered "Thank you."

"Call me later." Mercedes mouthed to Rachel as she walked away with Kurt and Blaine.

"I'll see you later." Rachel beamed as she turned to look up at Finn.

"I can't wait." He smiled down at her and picked up her hand and kissed her knuckle lightly.

"I'll be over in a little while." She grinned up at him then playfully shoved him in the chest when he just stood there looking at her. "Go." She laughed and motioned towards the others waiting in the car.

Finn nodded then gave her one last lingering look as he started backing away still holding onto her. Rachel laughed as their fingers snapped away from each other. She stood on the porch and waved until the car turned the corner.

Rachel took a deep breath before turning towards the door and running up to take a shower and get ready for her talk with Finn.

After getting out of the shower and fixing her hair and makeup Rachel spent 20 minutes trying to decide which would be the best outfit to wear when she and Finn made up.

She finally managed to make a decision and grabbed her purse and car keys and headed for the stairs. She was about half way down the stairs when there was a knock at the door.

"Hey." She greeted Finn surprised after finding him standing on the other side of the door. "I was just on my way to your house."

"Yeah, a couple of Kurt's Dalton friends showed up and started some movies. So I figured I would just come here." He shrugged. "I hope that's OK." he added after a moment.

"Of course!" Rachel nodded "Come in."

"Thanks" he smiled as he stepped inside.

"Sooo?" he asked standing next to her in the entry way with his hands in his pockets. "What do we do now?"

"Let's go sit on the couch." She said taking his hand and leading him towards the living room.

"I think that we should just sit here and talk until we get it all out. I have plenty of food here and I got these note pads" she told him taking them out of her bag. "So we can write down anything that comes to mind while the other is talking, that way we don't interrupt each other."

"OK." Finn nodded. "Where should we start?"

"I think we should just jump right in. But I have a couple of requests before we start if you don't mind?" she asked him.

"Yeah, of course. What are they?"

"One, no fighting. We are talking about feelings not casting blame. And two, I honestly think that once we get through everything we should move on." She told him.

"That sounds really good." Finn half smiled.

"OK good." Rachel took a deep breath then asked "What are our biggest issues?"

"You cheated on me." Finn whispered.

"You slept with Santana, and lied about it." Rachel mumbled almost as quietly as she stared straight ahead.

"OK, um" Rachel stated turning to face him "Where do you wanna start?" she asked.

Finn shrugged his shoulders "I guess with the Santana thing, cause… you know, it happened first."

Rachel nodded "You tell me what happened, and then I'll tell you what it was that made it such a huge deal for me."

"Yeah, uh. OK….So last year when you were dating that Jesse kid, I was kinda starting to realize that I messed things up with you and I was pretty bummed. You know I went to dinner with Santana and Brittany that one week you and I dated the first time. So she came up to me in the hall and said we should go out again, just the two of us.I told her that I didn't think it was a good idea, cause I was into someone else."

"She guessed that it was you, and told me I was wasting my time because you were with Jesse. That's when I asked you about it, and you told me you were. I was pretty upset so I went back to her and said OK. She took me to a motel across town and…we, you know did it."

He turned to see Rachel staring down at her hands in her lap. "Uh, afterward I thought I would feel different somehow but I didn't … I was so disappointed. I literally felt nothing. I figure it was because it didn't mean anything."

"She made me take her to get a burger after I didn't even get anything. I just sat there while she ate, then took her home… that was pretty much it. I never really talked to her much after it happened. Then all of a sudden she started making comments about it once you and me finally got together just to bug me and hurt you…I guess."

Rachel stayed quiet for a moment, then asked in a small voice "Why didn't you just tell me?"

"We came back to school that Monday and you were talking about your date with Jesse and how it wasn't that big of a deal and I figured you had done it too. Then,I honestly forgot about it." He told her.

"Then, outta nowhere you told me you didn't do it with Jesse and how you were happy because we could save it for each other. I couldn't tell you then, I didn't want to upset you… Then I couldn't figure out how or when and Santana kept saying stuff, and then…. You know…you found out. We weren't together at the time" he said looking at her. "It was just a dumb thing I did."

"Why her?" Rachel asked. "I mean, I know she's prettier than me, but…. I just"

"Rachel." Finn called firmly cutting her off. "She isn't prettier than you. I don't know why you say things like that all the time. I mean I guess she's hott, but so what?" he asked her. "I think you are beautiful. Way prettier than Santana, or Quinn… or Brittany or whoever else."

"But I'm not hott." She told him.

"Rach, don't put yourself down like that. I think you are the prettiest girl in the school and I don't care if anyone else thinks so, I think you are _super _hott."

"You don't have to say that Finn." She told him turning away from him.

"No it's true, you don't have to push it, you know? You don't have to advertise it. I think you're sexy cause, you're you. Not because of what you wear or anything like that." He told her taking her hand and pulling on it until she looked at him.

"Thank you." She smiled then leaned forward and kissed him softly on the lips.

"Rach, you don't have to thank me for telling you what I think." He smiled, he hesitated a moment then asked "Why did it upset you so much?"

Rachel took a deep breath "Well…there were several things about it that upset me. I mean the most rational reason being I was devastated I couldn't be your first. But I think I could have gotten over that with a bit of time. The thing that made it worse at the time, was the way I found out, in front of everyone… and they all knew."

"I didn't know they all knew." Finn mentioned quickly "I didn't like, talk about it with people."

Rachel nodded. "I was so shocked by it, and it hurt that you didn't tell me. I was embarrassed in front of the people who I thought were my friends…and yet, not one of them told me. I was just really confused." She told him a tear rolling down her cheek.

"Rachel I didn't do it you hurt you." He said reaching over to wipe her cheek. "I'm so sorry, I really am."

She nodded and continued "I felt so stupid. Here I was head over heels in love with you, planning out our future in my mind and I was already scared you didn't feel the same way about me and I just… I guess I kept waiting for the day when you would realize I'm not good enough for you, then come to find out you had already slept with someone else…" She whispered.

"What are you talking about?" He asked in disbelief.

"You're so much better than I am Finn." She told him. "You're popular and you play football. You're just such a good person, you have friends and everyone likes you. You care about other people and their feelings and I try, but I'm so socially awkward. It's easier for people to dislike me than it is for them to try and figure me out… I just worried you were going to find another girl who is prettier and less high maintenance. Someone who will put out and not nag you all the time about stupid stuff." She said as tears started rolling down her cheeks.

"Rachel." Finn whispered pulling her into his arms."I know you." he smiled and kissed her cheek "And I love you, all the things about you. Nothing you can do can change that" he said hugging her tighter "So I've recently learned." he added with a small laugh, hopping she didn't get upset that he was joking about their breakup.

Rachel laughed despite the tears that were still running down her cheeks. "I love you too." She told him looking at him over her shoulder. "It's just all those thoughts were there before the whole Santana thing happened…and it just made everything so much worse."

"Bring popular isn't important. I think you should know that, what is it gonna mean in a few years? Rach, you need to realize that I don't care about stuff like that anymore." He said.

"As much as I want to believe that and as much as I trust you, it's just something that I've always worried about." She told him.

"Well you shouldn't" he told her.

"I'll try and work on it." She mumbled. "Now, I don't want any kind of graphic detail, at all. But what exactly happened? I can't let her hold it over my head and make random comments to upset me for the rest of our time in high school." She asked as she maneuvered out of his arms.

"Oh, wow….uh ok." He shifted around uncomfortably "Like I said we went to a motel and…um, she never really took her clothes off or let me touch her. There was no kissing and it was all over a few minutes after it started…"

"Did you…um…finish?" She asked.

"Yes." Finn nodded sounding ashamed. "But not like…cause it was good, but just because it was sex." He paused then after a moment added "Not to gross you out or anything but I thought it would be better that when I was alone, and while it kinda was…it wasn't. That doesn't make any sense I know but, afterward I was just numb, I thought I would be like this whole new me, but all I was, was disappointed …that was it. I thought it would be better…special …or…something."

"Thank you for being honest with me" she told him and kissed him on the cheek.

"You know, I realized since we've been apart, well I mean I knew before but it's really sunk in since we've been apart. It should have been you…. I wish it was you and I'm sorry I took that away from you." He told her honestly.

Rachel leaned forward and pressed her lips to his. "It's ok" she whispered "I was upset about it before, but not having you made me realize that it doesn't matter. As much as I want to have been your first, as long as I have you none of that stuff that happened before matters."

He smiled down at her and kissed her softly on the lips again. She backed away from him and put her hand on his chest to stop him from leaning in again.

She took a steadying breath and backed away from him a bit further "I was devastated when I stormed out of the meeting with Miss Pillsbury, which I think was one of the biggest mistakes I've ever made by the way." she added as sort of an afterthought. "We were talking about it, and I think we probably could have been ok if we kept talking….but when I left, I closed off that communication. And I'm so sorry for that." She paused for a moment

"I ran into Puck in the hall," she continued "He saw me crying and asked what happened, I explained we were having issues and he took me home. I kissed him." she said simply. "I wanted to…hurt you. I wanted you to feel the same way I felt…And I tend to overdo things, we both know that." She tried to joke.

He smiled a bit but said nothing.

"I'm so sorry, I don't know how I could be so nasty and vindictive. You know the whole story of what happened there, I went straight to tell you everything…What did you?…Did you have anything you wanted to ask or say about it?" She asked as she held back a new wave of tears.

"I was pretty hurt." He said "And I was so mad at you. I just kept wondering how you could have done it to me, deliberately hurt me like that. I didn't understand how you could cheat on me. How you of all people could turn on me like that. When you knew everything that cheating has done to me in the past. I loved you and trusted you in a way I've never loved anyone, so I was lost for awhile…" he took a breath

"I don't get what it is… with Puck I mean." He started.

"Finn, can I just say that kissing him had nothing to do with him." She said quickly then continued when he just stared at her. "I didn't want to kiss Puck, there was nothing romantic about it. I only did it as a means to upset you. That's terrible, I know but I wanted to make sure you know I didn't do it because I have any kind of feelings for Puck. He was more of a prop than anything, I just ….wanted to make that clear."

Finn nodded "That's what took me a long time to deal with, I felt you picked him like Quinn did, and while it wasn't as bad as getting pregnant…physically, but it was worse…"

"Emotionally." Rachel added in a shaky whisper for him when he was searching for the right word.

"Yeah." he nodded "I thought I did at the time, but I never loved Quinn. It wasn't until after I realized I loved you that I figured that out. With Quinn when I found out about the baby I think I was more embarrassed than anything really. I never really felt like I lost anything other than a baby I didn't even have yet."

"I could never get back together with Quinn over the past few weeks because what she and I had wasn't enough to overlook the drama she caused me. It wasn't enough to put aside what I feel for you. Even though we weren't together, I still felt more for you that I did for her at anytime. I didn't want her to make us getting back together not an option."

"You broke my heart." He said looking up at her which caused Rachel to lose the battle she had been fighting and let out a silent sob.

"With you, aside from feeling like I lost pieces of my heart, I lost a part of myself, part of my future. I had just been banking on us for forever, and I lost everything I didn't really know I had wanted with you."

"Finn I'm so sorry" Rachel got out in between the tears that were now free flowing "I can't really say anything that would make what happened OK, but it's like I said I did it only because as stupid as I was I wanted to hurt you. I don't want to kiss puck ever again I would rather kiss you than anybody … and I can only promise to never ever do it again if you could just forgive me or give me a second chance to prove to you it would never happen again. Can you maybe try to love me again? The way you did before because I can…"

"Rachel I can't…" Finn interrupted.

"What?" Rachel asked looking up at him "But I thought.."

"Rachel I can't forgive you because I can't get a word in to try." He laughed.

Rachel took in a breath, the tears rolled down her cheeks as tried to stop shaking.

"Rachel." Finn said picking up her hand to hold in his. "I forgive you." he smiled "And I want to give us a second chance if you'll let me, if you can forgive me too."

"Don't scare me like that" she choked out smacking him on the shoulder with her free hand. "But yes I forgive you. I want to give us a second chance also. I want us to be together like we used to be. I want to work on us and I would love…"

"Rachel" He cut her off.

"Huh?" She asked looking up at him.

"Shut up." he smiled as he leaned in to press his lips against hers.

"Oh," she breathed against his lips "OK."

"Shhhh" he breathed into her mouth.

After a few minutes she backed away slightly.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Of course" he smiled

"Does this mean we are officially back together?"

Finn couldn't hide the smile that formed on his lips at the excitement in her voice."Yes is does."

Rachel almost bounced off the couch as she threw herself at him. Hugging him and kissing all over his face. "I love you. I love you. I love you" She chanted in between kisses.

"I love you too" He laughed hugging her.

"Let's never fight again" she suggested wrapping her arms around him.

"I don't think that's possible, we'll still fight over some stuff I'm sure, like where to eat dinner and what movie to watch or what to name our kids."

Rachel beamed "I really do love you." she smiled leaning into place a loving kiss on his lips

"I love you too" he replied.

"Can I ask you something else?"

He nodded.

"Can we please never lie to each other again? Honesty from here on out."

"That sounds awesome." Finn agreed

"Let's not be afraid to tell each other something …anything even if it might upset the other, as long as we have each other nothing can be that bad." She said.

"Ok" Finn nodded. "I like that. Also, can we just let all the old stuff go and move on? Cause I don't think you should be intimidated or whatever it is by Santana anymore, or be mad at her or Quinn."

Rachel nodded "Then you can't be mad a Puck."

"Ok" Finn agreed.

They looked at each other for a few moments before Rachel launched herself back at him, forcing him to fall back onto the couch and causing them both to laugh.

They laid on the couch with her head resting on his chest and their arms wrapped tightly around each other until the sun started to set.

Neither one of them had said anything for hours, and Finn was sure that had to be some kind of record for Rachel. He almost started to laugh until he heard Rachel sign in contentment, which made him smile.

"I've missed this." She whispered nuzzling into his chest "Not having to say anything and just being able to be happy, together."

"I totally did too." Finn smiled as he kissed the top of her head and started rubbing her back.

It was silent again for awhile as they lay on the couch. Rachel started running her fingers along his jaw and moved so that she was more or less lying on top of him as opposed to next to him. He though she fell asleep as he continued to rub her back until his stomach growled lightly.

"Oh my god!" Rachel cried sitting straight up "I haven't fed you all day!"

"You heard that?" He asked a bit embarrassed.

"Well, yeah a little. I mainly felt it." She said going pink in the cheeks.

"Oh." He nodded trying not to laugh at how adorable she was.

"Come on I'll make you lunch." she said standing up and reaching for his hand.

"Rach, it's like 9 o'clock." he laughed.

Rachel's head snapped towards the clock in the living room "Oh, I had no idea it was so late, you must be starving."

"I actually didn't even think about it until just then."

"What would you like me to make you?" She asked as she turned to stand in front of him.

He moved to a sitting position on the couch and just looked up at her for a second before pulling her by the hips to stand directly in front of him, after a few seconds he started to laugh.

"What?" she asked reaching up to run her fingers through his hair.

"Were almost the same height like this." he grinned up at her.

Rachel rolled her eyes and pushed his head back and started moving away from him.

He laughed harder and pulled her back into his arms and onto his lap. She shook her head but couldn't help laugh along with him.

"I missed that." He said kissing her neck.

"What?" she asked as her eyes dropped closed enjoying what he was doing to her.

"Your laugh." he told her as he continued kissing the side of her neck "Not your like 'oh, that's funny' laugh but your happy laugh. It's different when it's just the two of us."

Rachel smiled down at him as she pulled herself away from his lips. "You make me very happy." She told him looking into his eyes.

"I plan to make you happy for a long long time." he promised.

She smiled sweetly as she leaned down to capture his lips with hers.

* * *

><p>AN2: Once again I hope you enjoyed it. There is a lot to get through when you start thinking about the problems in the FINCHEL relationship. I hope that I touched on all the important ones to you, as I wrote what I felt was important to me. please let me know what you think.<p> 


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